Political Dictionary

I just got back from vacation, but while I was away, I watched a lot of TV. Okay, when I’m home I watch a lot of TV, but while on vacation, I noticed something interesting: politicians and pundits at opposite ends of the spectrum use the same words to mean wildly different things. Or so it seemed, until I realized that it’s not that the words mean different things, it’s that every person views the world a little differently. So, to make your life a little easier, here’s my political dictionary for the television viewer:

Moderate – someone who considers all the information and makes a calm, rational decision (i.e., the person talking
Conservative – someone whose political views are more conservative than the person talking
Liberal – someone more liberal than the person talking
Impartial – someone who agrees with the person talking
Partisan – someone who disagrees with the person talking
Idiot – someone who disagrees with the current administration
Traitor – someone with facts who disagrees with the current administration

I’ve tested this list while watching the CNN, Fox News, ABC, NBC, and CBS news programs. So far, it seems to hold. I’m also beginning to notice that it holds for my everyday conversations with real people. How unfortunate. I know I'm only a little bear, but surely things can be better.